how long do you have to date someone before it is reasonable to expect their parents to invite you to almost all of their family functions?

my wonderfully irritating boyfriend (let’s call him Bear) and I have been dating for well over 2 years. my parents invite him to basically everything they invite me to, except for the occasional one-on-one outing. we live in the same city they do, just about 3 miles away.

His parents live about 3 hours away, in the town where i went to college and where he grew up. they invite me to family get-togethers only slightly more often than they invite his older brother’s wife! so not only do i get to feel excluded NOW, but i have that to look forward to in the future if/when we get married!

Bear insists that they like me, and his brother’s wife even complains to his brother that they like me more than her. (we tell her it’s because i lived in the same town as they did for the first 9 months of our relationship, but it’s really because she’s a stuck-up princess – in fact let’s make that her nickname, shall we? Princess… and his brother can be Workaholic)

To be completely honest, his parents don’t even really know that we LIVE together! Which is mostly because a) they still pay his rent because he has yet to finish his B.A. and b) they’re Catholic

So maybe that’s part of the reason they don’t invite me… Bear says it’s because they “don’t see us as being at THAT level yet” which I find really annoying and interesting, considering my parents/family are already dogging me about when we’re getting married! I feel like Mama and Papa Bear don’t think I’m good enough for their baby Bear – or that they don’t treat him with any respect and therefore I don’t get any either – or that they are just self-absorbed people who refuse to admit that their sons are grown men!

 So what’s a girl to do?

(start an anonymous blog to bitch about it, i guess?)