so i get a lot of  weird feedback when it comes to dieting

my friends and family tend to reject statements i make like “i’m fat, i’m chubby, i’m unhealthy”

which I guess is nice, but I don’t find it very helpful! I AM OBESE, PEOPLE! recognize it! I’m not a little girl, I’m not going to grow out of it, I’m an obese adult woman who has a problem.

But I’m sure it’s hard to have the “right” response to someone’s weight loss efforts, especially when they are a little self-deprecating about it.

The other feedback I get is total disbelief – people seem unable to accept that I weight 235 lbs. I appreciate this response because I also don’t think I look like I weigh that much. Sometimes when I watch The Biggest Loser I cry because there are women on there who weigh LESS THAN I DO!!! I refuse to think of myself as THAT FAT, and yet the numbers are real.

Refried Bean says those women are really really short. Mo and others say that I “carry it well” and “well, you look a lot better than they do!”

I have wondered if/why that is true. Because honestly I don’t think I LOOK that much fatter than when I was 175 lbs – I can FEEL that I’m fatter, but I don’t SEE it in the mirror.

And the other thing I wonder is why do I look so much better with clothes on? I see lots of large women who look fat with their clothes on, even my lovely Refried Bean shows a tummy pooch and big bootie most of the time.

Is it my natural inclination to wear clothes that are loose? Am I a genius at finding flattering clothing? (It’s not like Lane Bryant is a secret…) Is it because I have maintained an hour-glass shape so clothes still fit my silhouette relatively well? Is it because I’m rather modest/hippie-ish so I just don’t tend to expose a lot of skin (except for layered tanks in summer)?

I’ve often wondered why I see other heavy women wearing tight clothing that reveals every lump and bump and poochy tummy. How are they comfortable with that? Are they trying to be proud of their bodies? Or have they just decided not to care?

I have a few tops that I still wear even though they are a bit clingy around the new lovehandles I’ve developed in the last few months, but I’m pretty uncomfortable in them until I get drunk or just manage to forget about it.

I guess I have my Mom to thank for this at least – I have finally learned not to put much emphasis on the size it says on the tag. She always told me it didn’t matter, that clothes are cut differently everywhere you go and even two shirts in the exact same style and color form the same store will fit you slightly differently. And she was right.

The important thing is to love yourself enough to dress your body in flattering clothing that you feel comfortable in, no matter what size you are! If you have to buy new clothes as you gain or lose weight, then so be it. You’re worth it.

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