so i guess this quarterlife crisis concept is a real thing now?

i actually think its a valid stage in life to discuss. I know that i have been greatly comforted by adult family friends telling me that the time in their lives right after college was the most difficult stage they’d ever experienced.

i have also found the time after college to be supremely difficult. I lost friends to death and moving abroad, I ended up living with my folks more than I wanted, I had an awful long-term relationship, I made some bad choices (some good ones too i hope), and it’s just been HARD.

Plus I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. When i try to shake off my mother’s feminism, and both my parents’ ambition and dedication to their jobs, I find that my desires are for a loving partner, a comfortable home, and a happy family. But how could i possibly aspire to just being a housewife? I can’t shake off those pressures to be “successful” for long, but will trying to fulfill them ever make me happy? it hasn’t worked so far…

lately i do feel as though i’m getting somewhere with this whole adult thing. i found the man i want to spend the rest of my life with, he has a house that he shares 50/50 with me, we have pets and plans, and i feel more comfortable being myself than i have in the past. I have quit smoking and reduced my other bad habits, including my temper. And i am actually happy to be getting older this year!

As the economy ravaged my emplyment plans to be a teacher, it has also reduced the pressure on me to be successful and get a job my parents can be proud to tell their friends about. And with that pressure reduced, i can relax – i can let myself be in a temporary position. i can be comfortable finding out that i will probably always be able to get some kind of administrative assistant job and that i have become a good employee. i certainly wasn’t always, but I am now. And that’s something – to know that you are more responsible and nicer to yourself than you were at 23…

and who knows? maybe half price books will be the perfect  home for another Huizenga?

Advertisements